Tag Archives: funny

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“I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it.”
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“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.”
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“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.”
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“If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.”
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“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
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“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
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“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”
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“I’m not saying that everything is survivable. Just that everything except the last thing is.”
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“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
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“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.”
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“There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”
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“Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside — remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.”
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“My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you’re lucky.”
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“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”
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“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!”
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“I am not young enough to know everything.”
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“You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like to read. People that like to read are always a little fucked up.”
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“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
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“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”
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“Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”
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