There is a saying by Wayne Dyer which tells that no one can truly feel lonely if they like the person they are alone with. But, in a course of a life there is definitely a time for everything. There are times when you would prefer to be alone, and there are also times when you wish to spend time in the company of your friends, family and all others who you love. There is a time for facing the darkness and healing it, but also a time for embracing the light. There is a time for being ahead, but also a time for being somewhat behind. The same is true for being in motion and being at rest, for being vigorous and being exhausted. There is a time for being safe, but also a time for being in danger.
All of this is ancient wisdom, written down from the Tao Te Ching, a Chinese text that became the integral part of Taoism. Simply, it tells us that there is a time for everything and that it is really helpful to accept this fact and even embrace it. This way, there is a much bigger chance for you to find an easier way of living where wisdom and serenity go hand in hand.
Our lives are the way they are while we are also the way we are. This means that we are all so different, so unique and so dear. Often, we completely grasp the value of our own lives and all that is needed for achieving true greatness by spending a bit of time with ourselves. If you desire to know yourself, to accept who you are and what you can become, to love yourself and to begin to live your life from a more trustful, authentic and earnest place, the same thing is required. Here is the way you can learn how to be alone without feeling lonely.
The Art of Loneliness
If you feel loneliness at first, do not feel threatened by it. Instead, be patient. It does not matter if you were or were not alone during longer periods of time. In both cases, know that being alone is okay. Once you embrace it, you will see that it is fine to be alone.
You could start this process by accepting different places like the library, the coffee shop, and even your own bathroom. These places offer you the chance to stall and calmly read a book or a newspaper, or give you a caffeine fix, but also a place to sit and just stay there. In a library, you can look at different books and enjoy their smell. In places like this, you are not expected to talk, so it is okay if you turn to yourself. The same is true for the gym. There, you can be alone with your reflection in the mirrors, where the music in your headphones is your only companion. You can find solitude in public transport, but also in prayer or meditation. Looking for salvation and peace in these moments is the perfect time to be alone.
How to Embrace Being Alone
You should begin with small, simple steps. Take, for example, the lunch counter. There, you are surrounded by others who are taking their meals. But, employees usually only have an hour for lunch and their spouses are probably somewhere across the town, so they will be in the same position like you – alone. Here, you should resist the need to take out your cell phone and hang out with it. When you realize you are comfortable with eating lunch, do the same for dinner. Choose a nice restaurant and see how you are no less interesting and intriguing if you are eating solo over there, now free to clean the whipped cream with your finger. In fact, often other people, who are in groups at other tables, will wish they were in your shoes.
Go to the movie theater and immerse yourself in the soothing dark, feeling the pleasant sense of being alone among the bigger community. Take yourself dancing to a club knowing that you know no one over there. Feel the lights and dance like no one is watching or judging you, because everyone else is most likely minding their own business. Listen to your body as the music moves you, feel the beauty of the motions. Do this until you are sweating and use the drops of perspiration to remind yourself that this is life in its fullest.
Go off into the woods alone, where only trees and forest creatures will know you are there. Go to a new city and roam its streets and spend time with statues and benches. Share your experience with strangers for a moment and they let them continue on their journey while you continue yours. This way, you will receive opportunities to grow and experience life that would have never been there if you were not alone.
Which society is scared of being alone, you do not need to be. It is freedom to breathe easy and feel the weight lifted from your shoulders. You could stand with others, squashed in a group or holding hands with your spouse, but you should look further for a chance to truly accept and translate your thought and feelings. In the interest of loving yourself, maybe all those slogans from grade school and high school were based on a simple fear of loneliness. Because, if you are happy inside of your own head than any solitude can be a blessing.
Accepting Solitude and what it brings
This is a unique and personal experience, which means that others do not need to be supportive of it. But, being alone does not mean you are not connected with others. They are responsible for the way they choose to accept you, so do not be obsessed with what they think or feel. If you need it, you can find some company at an instant. But, with these notions on how to be alone without feeling lonely you will be able to find true and everlasting company in the essence of yourself, which is eternal, beautiful and wise beyond any measure. So try it out and see what benefits being alone can bring to your life.