Category: Funny quotes

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another

It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane

Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress

I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there

A good friend will always stab you in the front

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand

Wicked people never have time for reading. It’s one of the reasons

Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little

With great power… comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later

When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out.

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like

This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring