Tag: funny

You can’t always control who walks into your life but, you CAN control which window you throw them out of…!

Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive

The more you know, the crazier you look

It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m quite busy

You laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you’re all the same

If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience

You want to come in my life, the door is open. You want to get out of my life, the door is open. Just one request: Don’t stand in the door, you’re blocking the traffic

Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled

You Are the Result of 4 Billion Years of Evolutionary Success. Act Like It

Some people need a high five in the face with a chair