Tag: Humor

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do

Usually I’m remarkably good natured. Try me on a day that doesn’t end in y

If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something

I was asked once, ‘you’re a smart man, why aren’t you rich

I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did

I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it

If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on

I’m not saying that everything is survivable. Just that everything

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid.

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours

Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand

Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it