Category: Funny quotes

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you’d be twice as funny

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to

Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree

Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you’ll die of a misprint

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes

‘Classic’ – a book which people praise and don’t read.

Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns

The difference between genius and stupidity is

I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down