Tag: funny

I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot

If you’re looking for sympathy you’ll find it between

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on

I’m not saying that everything is survivable. Just that everything

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid.

There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going

My experience of life is that it is not divided up into genres

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!

I am not young enough to know everything

You get a little moody sometimes but I think that’s because you like

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of

Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another